I got a comment from my blog by a lady who asked: "How about the bad side?" So I thought to myself: "Do I indeed play under the cloak of niceness because I love our country so much and maybe just wish to look at that side alone?" I think I am more neutral on my stand. I have played the mere observer, but was really planning to write another nice thing, though. But then again, because of her comment, I dug through what I call my 'What for?' list instead. Two essays that go under this category are the two entries on the whitening cream. So I started thinking, "What else in Filipino behavior makes me have a 'What for?' stand?" And what I ended up remembering were brands, jewelry and 'image': Why are they there? What are they there for? And why do most of us have a high concern for these?
Many Filipinos like, if not love, imported brands ( although if we compare now to the '80s, we have become more nationalistic and have embraced local brands as equally good brands). I never was one who got fascinated by any brand. May it be a piece of clothing, a watch,make up, a pair of shoes, a car, a phone... I'm not into fashion and I'm pretty much simple in style. If I like it, I like it. When it comes to jewelry, if you show me a stone, I would not know if it is simply pretty or really pretty (maybe that's why some of my guy buddies think I'm half-man). I do not know karats. I won't be able to tell an expensive piece from a not so expensive one. Then there are brands. There may be a few brands that I do prefer since I grew up with them, or when it comes to technology, I think a trusted brand is a practical consideration. But that is about it. Maybe I do understand pricey items, but ridiculously overpriced ones, I always wonder about those. That gets into the top 1 in my 'What for?' list. If I were to be left alone, no one telling me about the 'hots' and 'nots', the 'ins' and 'outs' in designer names, I would be completely dumb in this field. Or maybe I am already. I am one of the worst persons to ask about a brand. I remember this friend of mine giving me her concealer with the brand 'bobbi brown', and the first thought I had was: "Oh. So this guy breaks up with Whitney Houston, changes his 'y' to 'i' so that people won't associate his old-self to his new-self, but then still uses his catchy name and starts a make-up line? Hmm...who would have thought..." I was happy that he was able to bounce back and find his true calling, until a friend of mine, between roaring sounds of laughter, explained to me that the cosmetic product has got nothing to do with the singer. I am very clueless with brands. I thought 'Anna Sui' was an upcoming movie when I saw loads of tarpaulin scattered at Alabang Town Center.
So I go back to 'why'. I am not interested in brands, but I wonder why many are. And why image is such a concern that we will do anything for it. 'Ang kahihiyan', which means 'the shame', is an old phrase the older generation would use then. I used to hear this phrase when I watched 'Sampaguita Pictures' or LVN films on TV when I was a child. The parent always would put value on kahihiyan, usually at the expense of his child's happiness. In the earlier decades, women who were single and got pregnant were, more often than not, wedded off immediately by their parents. That would be okay if the couple really were in love with each other, but might have a sad ending if they were not. And the parents' decision usually came from fear of social rejection. I guess this is how old our concern for image is--our concern for social acceptance. I watched an interview of a celebrity once on TV and she said, "I want people to like me for who I am." I looked at her and stared at her colored contacts, her colored hair, her transformed face with thicker lips and higher cheeks as I thought to myself, "Well then, who are you anyway? Do you still know?" It just seemed to me that she changed her whole face so that society will embrace her. Maybe she should try a simpler crowd so she could let her hair down. I am sure they will welcome her.
Sometimes I feel that too much glamor covers the real thing. For if a person is in the company of children--no videos, no photos, just the joy of being with the little ones--the person will tend to be more real. But if the same person goes to a high society party, all glammed up, jewelry shining, an expensive branded bag clipped under her arm, diamonds on her ears and neck, signature gown and shoes--beautiful? I am sure. Real? All the brands she clothed herself with--yes. Other than that, who knows. I guess that is the problem with glamor, there are so much fancy things around that we tend to not know how to sift pretenses from the real thing. And I am not talking about people, I am just talking about behavior. I think we all have the tendency to be both--real and fake. And sometimes the environment we are in brings out the 'fake' in us. Maybe this is why we like brands. They are for occasions such as these. When we feel moments of self-doubt, we need a buffer. Something that shall reduce the shock and make us feel that--yes--we are good enough because our watches are expensive, too. Our bags are as fancy as the others around. We find security in brands and expensive things, just in case self-confidence gives us a hiccup and we find ourselves feeling a little insecure in environments that demand prestige and 'power', therefore, testing our worth. I guess that is fine, as long as its prestige that makes us feel a little insecure, since most of the prestigious people are actually very simple. They just are giving us the right challenge by making us want to be prestigious ourselves. But what if we find security in brands because we will encounter people who will value us for what we wear and what we have? Maybe total strangers who, when introduced to, do not look you in the eye when he or she says 'hi', but checks you out from head to toe, searching thoroughly if you are worthy of a warm greeting. This makes me wonder again: "Do I really want to be accepted by people like these? What's so great about a warm greeting from this person who is not interested in me for what I have to say, but only in how I look and what I have? Why would I want to have someone like that in my life? What for?" I remember when I stubbornly kept my 3210 phone because I did not see the point in changing it (another 'what for?' moment). Then when I had to bring it out one time while in the company of people who were not friends but acquaintances, I noticed disapproving stares. I know I am not strong enough because I found myself texting under the table just so that the people around me would not see it any longer. It brought out the 'fake' in me.
So why are we attracted to Louis Vuitton, Rolex, Prada, etcetera, etcetera? Why do we need a P75,000 hand bag or a half a million to a million peso watch? Who is it for? What is it for? Do we need it? Why do we want it? Is it really for us? I have a strong feeling that it is not. It is for them. Because if we were alone, living in the boondocks with no one to talk to, would we still be attracted to brand names?
Maybe we should try it sometimes--being alone to find out what really matters to us. Without the eyes of judgment, our phones and internet shut off, and maybe only the sound and scenery of nature as company, we then might go back to a place that is very important--our core, our authenticity, our uniqueness. We do not need signature brands or genuine leather items of a famous brand name to make us feel worthy. Because without these, indeed, we remain worthy. Maybe more than working on social acceptance, it is self-acceptance we need to pay more attention to. Because if we were stripped naked from the disguise of luxury, what then shall be left for everyone to see? You. And only 'You'.
The most beautiful diamond, better than the brightest piece anyone has ever worn, was always the real 'You'.
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