In my last entry, I wrote about the Filipino's love for family. And that Filipinos would do anything for the family. This, I believe, is a good trait. But if done to the extreme, can become bad.
From what I have observed, many Filipinos love at a personal level. First would be family, second would be friends, and everything after that lands in the world of oblivion. Of course, this is not all of our fellow Filipinos, but somehow it seems like a tendency, which I do hope is a tendency of the not so many. It is definitely good that we love our family. But just like Conrado de Quiros said in his column for the Philippine Daily Inquirer last May 4, 2011: "Our excessive 'family first' mentality can also be our bane." This excessive 'family first' mentality may cause problems, for it can result to apathy outside the sheltered walls of our homes, and worse, most especially if found in politicians, may bring others to their poverty. With the 'family first' principle, dynasties are formed. And sadly, many of these dynasties are in public office not because they want to serve the people, but because they want to rule a mini-kingdom. They see the area they govern as theirs, and maybe us as their servants. Private armies are created to protect family members. Illegal acts are made to give the children of these politicians the best education they can get, not just in the country but sometimes even somewhere abroad like the U.S. or the United Kingdom. Public funds is perceived as money in their personal accounts, where they can freely dip their filthy hands in and give their whole family a vacation in posh places, while the area they are called public servants lack proper service to its people.
I now remember a story of an intelligent Filipina who spoke in an international convention. She did really well that an American in this convention congratulated her. But then he asked, "I have noticed that your country has many brilliant people, but then what happened to the Philippines? Why are you struggling?" I had a similar conversation with a nice young Korean lady, and as we tried to analyze what may be the problem, I tried to give her my translation on it, "Maybe one of the reasons might be because we are quite image conscious? We like working on our image, so the country does not become a priority." The lady looked at me and said, "We are image conscious, too, and I think that is a good trait." I did not say anything. I waited for her to continue, and so she did, "If you are really image conscious, then you should work on the image of your country. A strong country is a reflection on its people. If you belong to a strong country, other nationals will see you, the people, as strong too. So work on your country's image. Then others won't say anything anymore because they can see that you're doing well." I thought of what she said as she told me their story on how they all had to pitch in when their country was deep in debt. Gold was given, fellow Koreans worked outside of Korea with the intention to help their country in its time of need, and they did not stop until they were doing well again. And when the country had public events, after the event, the venue was left clean. Trash to be thrown in trash bins is not a difficult task and duty if we really think about it. I thought of what she said and smiled. It was good advice.
As citizens of our country, maybe our affect as individuals will not cause a ripple in the stream. But maybe together we can contribute in change that shall matter, that shall be seen. Change that will affect lives outside of our families and circle of friends. Change that shall be felt by our countrymen, and maybe change that shall improve the state of our people and nation. I recommend the book of Alex Lacson, "12 Little Things Every Filipino Can Do to Help Our Country", as a must read for all Filipinos. This book teaches us to do simple things for the betterment of our country. Very simple things such as 'follow traffic rules', 'ask for an official receipt', and 'Buy Filipino'. It is quite sad though that there are little things that are not second nature to many of us, Filipino people. I think this just goes to show that maybe we still should continue improving our love for our country. But it is quite evident that we have improved. Unlike then when Filipinos preferred imported goods as opposed to local ones, nowadays, local goods enjoy a good share of the market, most especially when it comes to clothes and the accessories department, I suppose. Although there are still areas like books (except for Bob Ong's books that has now overtaken the 'Harry Potter' series and 'Twilight' saga in bookstores) that need to be promoted, and hopefully supported by the people. Nonetheless, it is still a good sign that love for country is slowly being a norm in the Philippines. But we still have to follow rules.
I have noticed that in some places, the giving of an official receipt is not very automatic. I have found myself asking for receipts not all the time, but quite a few times already.
1st Experience:
Me : "Pwede pahinging resibo?" (May I have a receipt?)
Sales person: "Huh? Temporary nalang ha. Hwag na official." (Huh? Temporary, okay? Not an official one.)
Me : "Hindi. Official." (No. Official.)
She gave me an official receipt together with a disapproving look.
2nd Experience:
Me : "Pwede pahinging resibo?" (May I have a receipt?)
Parlorista: "Huh? Blow dry lang naman pinagawa mo ah. Resibo pa?" (Huh? You just had a blow dry. You still want a receipt?)
Me : " Sumbong kita." (I'll tell on you.)
The parlorista hurriedly made a receipt after I said that.
3rd Experience:
Me : "Pwede pahinging resibo." (May I have a receipt?)
Storekeeper: "Bakit po? Taga saan po kayo?" (Why, who do you work for?)
Me : "Private citizen ako. Hindi ako taga-gobyerno. Bakit?" (I'm a private citizen. I'm not from the government. Why?)
Storekeeper: "Hindi wala, po. Wala, po." ( Nothing, ma'am.)
She was scared of me, thinking I was some investigator searching for tax evaders.
So in this exploration on asking for a receipt, I noticed two reactions: fear and annoyance. But I also noticed those who willingly gave me a receipt when I asked for one. Although I wish next time it would be more automatic for them. I believe I really do not need to ask for a receipt, I should just be given one. But okay, as for the moment, I shall ask for one when I am not given one.
So maybe it is time we change ourselves for the sake of our country. Just like what President John F. Kennedy of the United States of America said in his speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country." If we want corruption to end, we should not tolerate and most especially not do it. If we own a company, a shop or a store, let us not forget to give our customers receipts. Let us avoid or totally stop using connections to get our way, let us do things the proper and legal way. Before we demand a fix from the government, maybe we should try to fix ourselves first. The late Senator Raul S. Roco said once : "When I was 20, I wanted to change the world; at 30, I wanted to change my country; at 60, I realized I wanted only to change myself." I see the truth in this quote of the late Senator. It seems like the first thing we need to pay attention to is ourselves.
I now remember a book I read in the '90s. The name of this book is 'Celestine Prophecy'. It spoke of a philosophy on the spiritual experience and spiritual evolution of man. And if I do remember correctly, time was parted into decades in this book: the '50s to '60s was the time when people acted 'accordingly,' thus anything out of the ordinary was not fully accepted; late '60s to '70s was the introduction of freedom, which also led to the abuse of freedom since people were not very used to the idea of so much liberty in choice; then the '80s was called the economic era, people realized that freedom alone mixed with a pleasurable life was not the key to true happiness, but then maybe money was--thus, economic era emerged. Since this book was made in the '90s, the analysis ended with the '90s. It was said that the decade of the '90s was the transition period--from old ways to new. And now that we have just finished another decade, I believe that this journey for true happiness has traveled back to 'self'. And as I see it, the evolution of our thoughts has brought us back to one's self. It is the time for 'me'. We have come to recognize the importance of looking inward first before outward. And we may notice this with all the new invention and creations in the internet such as the blog, mulitply and myspace; now there is facebook and twitter. Why are they popular now? I think it is because man, and woman, are in the stage of exercising their value as an individual first before they can come out and contribute to something bigger. This, I see, is a collective choice.
Now the struggle is the ego vs soul. Self-love is understood in two ways. First is self-love using the ego. With this kind of love for self, we become highly competitive and play the numbers game. Number 1 becomes a very important number to us. Healthy competition is good, and maybe only the right amount of ego; but too much of it may lead us to jealousy, crab mentality, and even unhappiness. The second kind of love is using more of the soul. This way, we try to be the best we can be. We use words to describe ourselves not using their comparative form, but only their base form: "I am not greater, but I am great. And everyone is great with me." This way we recognize ourselves as part of a grand plan, but not the grand plan itself. This way we are aware that we are a piece of the puzzle that shall show the beauty of the whole picture, but we are not the puzzle itself. This way we know that we do our part, and after that, we need everybody else to make changes happen in this country.
This essay of course, on the whole, is just my analysis on what is. My words are my words, and my exploration is my personal observation. But if you think it makes sense--then maybe it is time. It is time to improve ourselves not only for the betterment of our country--the Philippines--but it could also be for the betterment of the only home we know--this world we live in.
Conrado de Quiros on the Filipino Culture on Families:
http://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/columns/view/20110503-334395/Cultures
Heidi Mendoza on Public Servants using Public Funds for Personal Use:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fv7e54zx9QA
President John F. Kennedy's Speech:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VB6hLg3PRbY
An Outline of 'The Celestine Prophecy':
http://www.homestar.org/bryannan/celistin.html
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Exploring the Filipino Psyche Day 16: Family
I recently came back from a fun holiday trip full of activities, laughter, sentimental moments, and also emotional ones. I went up to the mountain province named Baguio with immediate members of my family and also extended relations. It was bonding time for me, and it was also a birthday celebration of my Grand Aunt whom all from the family love dearly.
And this will be my next observation--family. How important is this to the Filipino? How do we show how much we value each member? And how does this work in our culture?
The Filipino family is the main support group of the Pinoy. And this does not compose only of immediate members, but also extended ones: 1st, 2nd, 3rd degree relations. And I even know a few families, oh...I think that includes mine, that feel still very close to family members who share only a drop of blood in their veins with the other. Kamag -anak is kamag-anak no matter how distant and little the blood relation may be. And bonding is instant usually, which I believe is not a Filipino quality but a natural tendency of many families all around the globe, even with family members whom we just met.
The family, it seems, usually takes a big part from the definition of happiness in the Filipino's life. Thus, its members are the main reason why many Filipinos choose to work in a foreign nation. They are the main reason why Filipinos leave the country and work somewhere else. Majority of our OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers) would rather stay in the Philippines. Even with the hustle and bustle of traffic, the thick pollution Manila offers to its residents and dwellers, the difficulties of every day sustenance, the Philippines is still home to many. But the salary offered to various professions and jobs in the country is usually not enough to support the children and to give the family a comfortable home. Because of this, many are forced to leave and look for better jobs abroad. In the article I read, it was mentioned that the Filipino diaspora has overtaken the Jewish diaspora in number; since the Philippines sends out a million or more of its people, every year, overseas for work. The country is proud of its OFWs, who seem to leave an impact on their employers because they are hardworking and industrious. They are smart and can easily converse and understand the universal language--English. But this pride we have for our fellowmen who leave the country for work, not out of choice but out of need, is also a bittersweet achievement. We call them heroes for they help the nation's economy by bringing in money. But then it is also a sad fact that they need to leave the country because we are not strong enough to take care of them back. And this they do usually with a heavy heart. This they do so they could help improve the lives of people they love--their family: the very people they wish to be with, the main reason they need to leave.
Now I go back to my personal story and speak of my Grand Aunts' beautiful birthday celebrations, which they just had within the past few months. I had a Grand Aunt in my father's side who just turned 100, and a Grand Aunt in my mother's side who just turned 90. In the Filipino culture, the oldest member of the whole clan is the most important family member. Maybe this is how we see the word 'grand' in compound words such as Grandmother, Grandfather, Grand Aunt and Grand Uncle. 'Grand', as we all know, means magnificent. And in the dictionary, they define it as 'worthy of great respect'. And because the grandparent has the most noteworthy role, parties are usually not simple. Just like their label, it, too, has to be a grand occasion. From ages 80 and above, parties are seldom just dinner with the immediate family, but a big bash that includes the extended members and close friends. The 100th party of my Grand Aunt was complete with giveaways, a program by the great grand children and of course food. The 90th party of my other Grand Aunt was as grand as well. There was dancing, honoring from the guests, food, and an after party of singing with the accompaniment of the piano. Of course, songs selected were the preference of the queen--my Grand Aunt. What she wanted us to sing, we sang. And when she wanted to sing, we all became quiet as she did her solo numbers.
In both of my Grand Aunts' parties, relatives from all over the globe came home to celebrate the birthday of the most important member. This is a common practice in the Philippines, no matter how far a member is, no matter how busy one may be, the special day of the 'Grand' man or woman of the clan is an important occasion to the whole family that members will find ways to attend it. And if members cannot go, they leave messages, then those who do go will make sure that every moment and minute of the event will be a memorable one for the celebrant, as well as for the kin. However, there are also Grandparents who do live in a 'home'. But this practice is not very usual in the Philippines since many Filipinos perceive these golden years of the grandparents as priceless.
This is the Filipino family, and just like any family, it also goes through struggles and difficulties. But the bond among its members is permanent. The love may sometimes take its about-face turn and become hate, but then it can take another 180 degree turn and become love again. There are fun times, and of course there are trying times. Problems may occur, hurts and misunderstandings, but even with the differences and the struggles, family will always be the main priority in the Filipino culture.
Reference:
http://globalnation.inquirer.net/mindfeeds/mindfeeds/view/20071212-106376/A_Closer_Look_at_the_Filipino_Diaspora
And this will be my next observation--family. How important is this to the Filipino? How do we show how much we value each member? And how does this work in our culture?
The Filipino family is the main support group of the Pinoy. And this does not compose only of immediate members, but also extended ones: 1st, 2nd, 3rd degree relations. And I even know a few families, oh...I think that includes mine, that feel still very close to family members who share only a drop of blood in their veins with the other. Kamag -anak is kamag-anak no matter how distant and little the blood relation may be. And bonding is instant usually, which I believe is not a Filipino quality but a natural tendency of many families all around the globe, even with family members whom we just met.
The family, it seems, usually takes a big part from the definition of happiness in the Filipino's life. Thus, its members are the main reason why many Filipinos choose to work in a foreign nation. They are the main reason why Filipinos leave the country and work somewhere else. Majority of our OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers) would rather stay in the Philippines. Even with the hustle and bustle of traffic, the thick pollution Manila offers to its residents and dwellers, the difficulties of every day sustenance, the Philippines is still home to many. But the salary offered to various professions and jobs in the country is usually not enough to support the children and to give the family a comfortable home. Because of this, many are forced to leave and look for better jobs abroad. In the article I read, it was mentioned that the Filipino diaspora has overtaken the Jewish diaspora in number; since the Philippines sends out a million or more of its people, every year, overseas for work. The country is proud of its OFWs, who seem to leave an impact on their employers because they are hardworking and industrious. They are smart and can easily converse and understand the universal language--English. But this pride we have for our fellowmen who leave the country for work, not out of choice but out of need, is also a bittersweet achievement. We call them heroes for they help the nation's economy by bringing in money. But then it is also a sad fact that they need to leave the country because we are not strong enough to take care of them back. And this they do usually with a heavy heart. This they do so they could help improve the lives of people they love--their family: the very people they wish to be with, the main reason they need to leave.
Now I go back to my personal story and speak of my Grand Aunts' beautiful birthday celebrations, which they just had within the past few months. I had a Grand Aunt in my father's side who just turned 100, and a Grand Aunt in my mother's side who just turned 90. In the Filipino culture, the oldest member of the whole clan is the most important family member. Maybe this is how we see the word 'grand' in compound words such as Grandmother, Grandfather, Grand Aunt and Grand Uncle. 'Grand', as we all know, means magnificent. And in the dictionary, they define it as 'worthy of great respect'. And because the grandparent has the most noteworthy role, parties are usually not simple. Just like their label, it, too, has to be a grand occasion. From ages 80 and above, parties are seldom just dinner with the immediate family, but a big bash that includes the extended members and close friends. The 100th party of my Grand Aunt was complete with giveaways, a program by the great grand children and of course food. The 90th party of my other Grand Aunt was as grand as well. There was dancing, honoring from the guests, food, and an after party of singing with the accompaniment of the piano. Of course, songs selected were the preference of the queen--my Grand Aunt. What she wanted us to sing, we sang. And when she wanted to sing, we all became quiet as she did her solo numbers.
In both of my Grand Aunts' parties, relatives from all over the globe came home to celebrate the birthday of the most important member. This is a common practice in the Philippines, no matter how far a member is, no matter how busy one may be, the special day of the 'Grand' man or woman of the clan is an important occasion to the whole family that members will find ways to attend it. And if members cannot go, they leave messages, then those who do go will make sure that every moment and minute of the event will be a memorable one for the celebrant, as well as for the kin. However, there are also Grandparents who do live in a 'home'. But this practice is not very usual in the Philippines since many Filipinos perceive these golden years of the grandparents as priceless.
This is the Filipino family, and just like any family, it also goes through struggles and difficulties. But the bond among its members is permanent. The love may sometimes take its about-face turn and become hate, but then it can take another 180 degree turn and become love again. There are fun times, and of course there are trying times. Problems may occur, hurts and misunderstandings, but even with the differences and the struggles, family will always be the main priority in the Filipino culture.
Reference:
http://globalnation.inquirer.net/mindfeeds/mindfeeds/view/20071212-106376/A_Closer_Look_at_the_Filipino_Diaspora
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)