Is 'Alaskahan' Dead?

 

On January of 2011, I wrote a piece here on Alaskahan and defined it as a form of art, where one can describe something with wit without insulting the other person

I saw myself as someone who was pretty good at this area. I guess it was one of the main reasons why I became ‘one of the boys,’ as people called it, when I was younger because I can keep that show going even with a few rounds of beer. Hanging out with buddies usually meant alaskahan time. I always saw alaskahan as something part of the Filipino culture, something that is in our blood.  It was like a tradition that was very Filipino.

 I’m an X-er, so I come from an era where jokes were full of smart-shaming, fat-shaming, slut-shaming, and all kinds of shaming done for the sake of comedy. I did quite a number of jokes under some of those ‘shaming’ categories, but on the whole, I think I like the fact that many styles of jokes from that era are over. It is time to change a bit. However…. I wonder, is alaskahan dead?             

It is 2024, and we are in a whole different time. It has been decades ago since my days of youth. Technology has advanced dramatically. The young ones are now what they call ‘woke,’ which I am all for. People are more inclusive now, and it is not cool to offend people. The cancel culture is up in arms for that, and with these new ways of ours, where does alaskahan fall? Coming from the old rules of wit, I found myself wondering. I like that play. I like that skill. Yes. I do think alaskahan is a skill because it works with association and indirectness. Being direct does not involve the alaska feature, and shaming is a thing of the past.

I ask this question because I saw a photo of a famous Olympian who the whole country shows off with pride, rightfully so, wear a cropped shirt that seemed like cloning the sense of style of his girlfriend. A famous political analyst called it ‘Chloe-ned,’ doing some word play with the name of the famous Olympian’s girlfriend. I thought it was witty, but the public figure’s post was bombarded with angry comments, defending the Olympian and his sense of style. And in my world of alaskahan during my time, what was posted would simply be under the category of ‘fun.’

So, is alaskahan dead? Do people get offended easily that we need to watch every little thing we say? Let's say, I have questions about the pronoun ‘they’ being used as individuals because we just want to understand this more, and if I ask my questions in a fun or witty way, will  I be attacked? I hope not, and now as I think even more, I don’t think so. Filipinos make the funniest memes, can still give very humorous comebacks, and we are still able to laugh at ourselves. I saw this famous comedian, Ray Sabayton Jr., wear a cropped top to show humor, but far from an insult, to poke some fun on the shirt of the famous Olympian I was talking about. 

I think alaskahan is still very much alive. It just won’t tolerate a form of shaming any longer. So as we get smarter with our ways, I guess comedy will have to get smarter with it. OK. I'm all for that. 

So, to answer that question: "Is alaskahan dead?"  I feel the answer to that is a big NO, not at all. It just got wiser and wittier. 

    

The Culture of Corruption

Where does one begin when talking about corruption in the Philippines?

Maybe we should begin with the acronym SOP. In the world of corruption, the term SOP, which means Standard Operating Procedure, means kickback. Since the ‘90s, 10% of each project would go to the highest public official of the local government. So nowadays, a project that may cost P1 Billion is a quick and easy P100Million for a mayor of a local unit. This practice is widely embraced that when I was thinking of joining a group of billboard makers, SOP was an acronym that was thrown around with no hesitation. No one seemed to think it was odd. The practice was accepted.

I heard a story of foreign investors who wanted to invest in bridges and flyovers in some place in the country. These investors are not greenhorns in the world of corruption, so they set aside some money to give to the politicians. What these foreign investors did not know was the standard 10% that should be given to the highest official--SOP. SOP talks can go as far as investors negotiating expenses to these politicians, and politicians easily suggesting, “Gawin nyo nalang sub-standard (Just make it sub-standard).”  In the end, a P4 Billion project is P400,000,000 to the pockets of the high official. Sometimes this may go as high as 20% or even 40% of the proposed budget.

Corruption in the Philippines is a variety of graft, cronyism, bribery, vote buying, down to human rights violation and a total disobedience to the laws of the land.

I remember in the ‘90s, when I, together with my siblings, opened a handicraft business named Hirang. I went to the municipal hall to register the name of the business. One man approached me and said, Ako na bahala dyan, ma’am. P1000 lang ma’am. Initial payment (Leave this to me, ma’am. P1000 only for the initial payment).” I didn’t think anything of it. No clue that this man was attempting to do a corrupt act. So I answered, “Sige,po! Paki pirmahan nalang po itong cash voucher ko para alam ko kung sino hahanapin ko pag balik ko (Okay! Please just sign this cash voucher, so that I know who to look for when I come back).” The man refused. I wondered. He directed me to another woman who also asked me for money. I again asked her to sign my cash voucher. She again refused. I went home without really being able to accomplish anything. I told my parents what happened, and they started to laugh. “That was it. That’s a form of corruption,” both of them explained. “Don’t allow it,” they added. So I went back for the second time, the third time, the fourth. I was asking for help. This time, no one wanted to help me. They saw me walking around with my cash voucher. Until finally, one gave in and helped me register the name.

Yes. It’s difficult to fight corruption, but we have to. We cannot look away anymore as if these things are not happening in our country. Because the longer we look away, the more abusive they get. There are cases where these corrupt officials approach start-ups in exchange of  official receipts, promising these start-up businesses millions, or even billions. Because this is easy money, and usually these entrepreneurs are fresh graduates, hungry for success, they say 'yes.'  Just like what happened to the Pharmally case at the height of the pandemic. From kickbacks to SOPs of 10% to as high as 40%, to laws and policies not being enforced, to human rights being violated, and now a loophole in the law, allowing foreign nationals to own land in the Philippines. A loophole that even allowed a foreign national with a Chinese passport and an alias to run for mayor.

 If we continue to look away, the culture of corruption will not only continue, it will also escalate.

 Now, the good news.

Although they are not many yet, we have seen good people emerge. There is The Young Guns in congress, as well as Mayors for Good Governance led by Mayor Benjamin Magalong. There are Congressman Jinky Luistro, Mayor Vico Sotto, and others, fortunately. It seems like the good ones are starting from the bottom. I say that’s a good place to start.

And for the rest of us, I suggest we keep our eyes focused on our public officials, on our government. Don’t look away. They need to know that we are watching them, and we need to know who we should vote in 2025.

 

 Sources:

A Look at how Corruption Works in the Philippines

By Raymond A. Abrea

https://business.inquirer.net/390650/a-look-at-how-corruption-works-in-the-philippines

Facts First of Christian Esguerra with guest Winnie Monsod

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3rqyZ_oNoI             

Rappler

 JC Gotinga with guest Mayor Vico Sotto

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qJA3XC5Qh8

 

The ‘SOP’ Malady

By Danilo S. Venida

https://opinion.inquirer.net/72522/the-sop-malady

 

Who are they? Meet The Young Guns of the House

By Ellson Quismorio

https://mb.com.ph/2024/2/12/who-are-they-meet-the-young-guns-of-the-house

Mayors Unite for Good Governance

By The Municipality of Jagna              

https://jagna.gov.ph/look-mayors-unite-for-good-governance-learning-session-illuminates-national-budget-digitalization-and-anti-corruption-strategies/

A Fan for A Day

     In 2015 to 2016, a phenomenon called AlDub took people by surprise. It was an accidental hit that was created by a noontime show Eat Bulaga. Yaya Dub (The name coming from the word 'dub') went around the streets of Manila with three comedians. This segment of the show was for the four of them to look for recipients of P5,000 to P10,000, which the show gave away, together with their sponsor—Puregold.

    In the studio, one of the TV hosts was Alden. It turned out that Yaya Dub (whose real name is Maine Mendoza) was crushing hard on him, whom she never personally met. Thus, The Meet became the theme of their romantic story. Aldub became such a hit that it reached 50 million tweets on Twitter.  Even Kobe Bryant became quite curious about the duo that he watched one of the main episodes of it. Me, I liked the concept. It was reality TV, a true story unfolding in real time. Even the protagonists were unsure what they’d feel once they get to see and meet each other, so that day was highly anticipated by many.                    

     I got so fond of this story that I found myself looking for a ticket for a Saturday show of Eat Bulaga. I could not find one. Then, my phone rang. It was a good friend of mine from my childhood. She asked me if I wanted to watch Alden with The Aldenatics Fans Club. Although The Aldenatics were going to  see Alden on a Sunday, which was not really my initial plan, but I had never experienced being with a fans club, so without thinking twice, the answer was an absolute YES.           

     Sunday early morning, we all gathered at a bus station. Everyone had bags with thermoses of water and snacks. The President of the fans club was kind, telling us what to expect there and which gate of GMA Network should we go to, and what the agenda was for the day.   When we got there, other Aldenatics met us with a tarpaulin and banderitas (little flags). We waited near a gate, getting glimpses of a lady by the door, waiting for her to do some announcements. She finally stood by the door and shouted, “Lipat kayo sa Gate B! Lahat ng fans, sa Gate B po tayo. Yung malapit po sa back entrance (Transfer to Gate B! To all the fans, go to Gate B, the one near the back entrance).”  A wide wave of people moved to Gate B. We, The Aldenatics, found ourselves at the middle part of the line.  There, another fans club was right behind us. “Saan kayo (Who are you with)?”  The Aldenatics President asked this lady.  “DongYan kami, Marikina branch. Kayo (We’re The DongYans. You)?”  The lady answered and asked. ‘Oh… So this is how small talk happens here…’ I thought to myself. I stretched my neck a little bit more to see the wide sea of people waiting their turn to get in the studio. Different fan clubs of different celebrities were gathered right outside Gate B, waiting for their turn to get in.

    Then, we finally were inside. We were given seats at the bleachers. We screamed when lights and cameras focused on us. We screamed even louder when one of the hosts acknowledged our presence.  It was fun. I have to say. The wide smiles of the Aldenatics made my experience quite worthwhile, especially when one of them was assigned to enter the backstage room to have the tarpaulin signed and get Alden’s schedule from the organizer. I got to witness inside operations of a fans club. We waited for our fellow Aldenatic as she did her duties for her club. She came out screaming and jumping, happy that she got to have an exchange with Alden.

    Then, off to McDonald’s we went. In McDonald's, I ordered a Big Mac. I sat right beside the President. Once seated, I didn’t notice the President staring at my food. He then asked, “Carla, ano yung inorder mo (Carla, what did you order)?” “Oh a Big Mac!” I gleefully answered, “Favorite ko kasi ang Big Mac, so pag nandito ako sa McDonald’s ito talaga yung ino- or… (Big Mac is my favorite. So when I'm here, I always order...).”  “Carla…” my friend, who was on my other side tapped my hand to stop me from talking. She shook her head. I wondered what she meant. The President looked at me, and with a kind, yet authoritative voice, he said, “Carla, endorser kasi si Alden ng chicken a la king, McDonald’s.”  I then realized what I just did. I looked at everyone’s food on the table, they all ordered chicken a la king. I forgot my role and my rule to myself--to do what the Romans do when in Rome, for me to be able to embrace the whole experience. “Malakas ako kumain. Parang appetizer lang sa akin ‘to. Kakain pa ako (I eat a lot. This is just like an appetizer to me. I'll still eat).”  “Hindi na. Okay na lang. Sige na lang (It’s okay. Fine)." The President said. I knew I offended him. I kind of regretted going with instinct that time and buying that Big Mac. I should have enjoyed eating chicken a la king with the rest of the fans. I missed that moment.  

    After eating their a la kings and me my Big Mac, the meeting began. One was taking notes, making sure the minutes of the meeting were jotted down. “Okay. Next ‘Meet and Greet’ ni Alden gagawin sa Cavite. Sino available? Kailangan marami tayo sa Cavite. Hindi pwede na pagdating ni Alden doon wala tayo. Dapat maaga palang nandoon na tayo (Okay. Alden’s next Meet and Greet will be in Cavite. Who will be available? We have to be  many in Cavite. It can’t be that when Alden gets there, none of us is there. We must be there first).” It was quite a long meeting. Everyone had duties. They had the whole schedule of Alden with them. They worked on their own personal schedules to make sure that they were there for Alden during these different activities.

     It was fascinating to see how dedicated they were in making sure that they were there for the man they admired. Their idol. I liked my experience with them. I know that many celebrities make sure they don’t hurt the feelings of their fans, like the recent breakup of this famous actress, Kathryn Bernardo to her real/reel partner, Daniel Padilla, which blossomed into a group of fans named KathNiel.  I know many were saddened, even devastated, with the breakup of these two celebrities, especially the KathNiel fans.

    I will never forget my brief yet memorable experience with The Aldenatics. Maybe someday I’ll hang out with them again. Who knows? But this time, I’m ready for them. I’m sure the President will be happy with me when he finds out that I’ve got an account with BDO, Alden’s current bank endorsement.

Public Hearings

 Readying the popcorn, potato chips, or nilagang mani, if you wish for the healthier option, many may vary on the preference of their snack, but one thing entertains many Filipinos nowadays, the public hearings. 

Being an X-er, I remember looking for people to talk to when hearings on the NBN-ZTE would come out on TV.  Those who watched it would patiently wait for the column of Jarius Bondoc to come out, so that we could give each other updates. I recall looking for people to discuss this issue, but it was not easy. I came from an era where current news was given via newspaper. 

But not today...

Today, the Philippines has definitely changed into big supporters of the Internet and social media, which has its upside and down. We know the downside of this: fake news, digital addiction, the one-upmanship game to name a few. Now the upside--Filipinos have never been this vigilant to politics, and it's been a while since my generation was the new one. After us came the old Millennials, young, Millennials, and finally Gen Z. 

Gen Z, the generation that did not really see much of games done outdoors. Their youth was filled with the rising of bloggers, vloggers called influencers, and things of this sort. Now, as the Gen Z emerged, so did the strong liking and draw of Filipinos to the Internet. Nobody needs to buy  newspaper to get the latest in the news nowadays. All you need is your mobile phone. Turn it on, and wait for the hearings to begin . 

 Currently, it seems like many Filipinos have temporarily replaced all Netflix, HBO, Disney+, and the like for some bigger drama. These are the public hearings.  Though the Senate has lost its rating to the lower house, it is still a show people watch from time to time. However, I have to say, the Quad Comm of the lower house has been able to bring out quite a number of explosives left and right: an expose' of an undersecretary of the Vice President on bribe money, a revelation of a former warden on  higher positions being in authority over killings of three Chinese men in a prison cell, a blow-by-blow disclosure of a son of a mayor on a coercion of a PNP Chief for him to commit perjury, and finally, a Colonel's confession on the reward system of a former president. 

It did not matter that hearings of the Quad Comm would last 10 to 11 hours, or even more. People wanted to know, because Filipinos always knew, that the killing of many of  our countrymen were unjustly activities that made those who witnessed these keep mum. Fear enveloped the air and stifled voices, since quite a number, not only several, were silenced permanently during the previous administration. 

People find things strange today, though. There is quite a different scent of fairness happening. We do know that the current administration is no saint, but just like forces coming together to fight an even greater evil, the real opposition and the administration found a common enemy. 

The country, for its survival, is fighting a common enemy. The enemy that  violated the rights of many. The enemy that stole the voices of many. The enemy that chose not the country, The Philippines, for it to protect. The enemy that tried, or maybe somehow triumphed, selling the country to its enemy.     

The former President Rodrigo 'Digong' Duterte was invited  by the quad-committee to shed light on the extra judicial killings that happened during his time. This is scheduled on October 22, 2024.  

Me, I'm still contemplating if I should ready the peanuts, or maybe some chips and beer for this.     

     

The Second Syllable

 

I've been noticing it for a while, but never gave it much attention until I rode an e-jeep and the conductor started talking to the driver: "Pare, 'matic yan, 'matic," (That's 'matic,bro).  I was trying to figure out what 'matic meant. Until it dawned on me that it was actually the short cut of 'automatic.' I nodded my head. Happy to know that I learned something new that day. Then I went to the bathroom and the women in the ladies' room started shouting at someone outside, "'Chard. Hintayin  mo kami,'Chard. Dyan ka lang," ('Chard. Wait for us, 'Chard. Stay there).

Then it dawned on me... the second syllable.

Though there is 'Richie' or 'Rich' as nicknames in the Philippines, I believe 'Chard for the name Richard has the strongest Filipino influence. So I thought further and wondered why, until I realized... Aaahhh... Lola (Grandma) is called 'La, Lolo (Grandpa) is called 'Lo; so nowadays,  Tita  (Aunt) is called 'Ta and Tito (Uncle) is called 'To. 

Because we have gotten used to calling our elderly by the second syllable of their names, this has influenced shortcuts of other names as well. Christian is 'Tian, Edgar is 'Gar, and  Argie is 'Gie. There is also 'My and 'Dy, which are shortcuts of Mommy and Daddy.  

A simple greeting would be 'Musta, which is short for Kumusta (How are you?), and the answer to that is 'Buti naman (I'm fine) and that is short for Mabuti (fine). I now remember, as a teacher, I'm called 'cher.  

I find it fascinating to know that we use the second syllable for nicknames. So,when in the Philippines, remember, no matter how big the Gutierrez twins are, they will never be Rich and Ray. Here in my country, they will always be 'Chard and 'Mond.